I gave away my Roald Dahl’s cook book

I read Roald Dhal’s cook book in a library in Canberra when I visited Rajan over ten years ago. I liked the way it was written. I wanted to own the book, even though I will not be cooking any of the dishes featured in it. After years of searching when I visited a Mall in Bangalore with Rajan I was thrilled when I was told it was available in a book store there. The high cost of the book made me hesitate only for a few minutes before I bought it. Actually Rajan bought it for me. It was one of my pride possessions all these years. I wanted to write a cook book along the same lines.

Last week a friend of mine brought a young girl from Philippines to visit me.  As soon as she entered my cottage, right away the girl noticed that I have a Roald Dhal’s book in my book shelf. She asked to see that. She was so impressed by that book and a few other books I had in the shelf. She has read Bill Bryson’s books and also ‘To kill a mocking bird’ and The Alchemist. Her love for books was so obvious and the similarity in our taste in books was so uncanny.

After about half an hour when she was ready to leave I gifted her the Roald Dhal’s cook book. She couldn’t believe it.  I have to insist that she take it. She was so happy.

I felt that the book has found its rightful owner. I was only a trustee all these years. I was so surprised that I could easily give away the book to a total stranger. I thought the entire event was some kind of a mystical miracle. 

A Living Will

In 2005 I drafted a living will, stating that “when I can no longer take part in decisions for my own future, I request that I be allowed to die with dignity, and not be kept alive by artificial means or ‘heroic measures’.” I forwarded it to all my sons and brothers and sisters who may be in a position to decide on my behalf.

In 2009 when I visited my son Rajan in Sydney I read an article in the newspaper - When the end is nigh, it's best to avoid hospital (October 31, 2009, By Dr.Ken Hillman)

http://www.theage.com.au/federal-politics/society-and-culture/when-the-end-is-nigh-its-best-to-avoid-hospital-20091030-hppj.html

I was so impressed that I cut it out and kept it with me. After moving into Aarogya kudumbam and interacting with people who are worried about what would happen to them when they are very ill and no longer able to take care of themselves, I again thought of the living will and about the Advance Health Care Directive. I talked to the promoter of our Home, my good friend Dr. Raju about it. A few other residents too felt that we should have it as a legal document and we discussed it with Dr. Raju. He too agreed with us as a good idea and got his lawyer to draft it and asked us to go through it and discuss among ourselves to make any suitable modifications before finalising the same. 

 I felt it didn’t cover the entire eventuality.

I searched the internet and read quite a few of the available documents on the subject – like Dying with dignity, The myth about CPR, End of the care conveyor belt: death in intensive care units,  Contents of a Living Will, When should I refuse treatment? etc.

But after going through all that write up I didn’t like the way I was thinking about my end of life. I have always felt I would die in my sleep – just go to sleep at night and not wake up in the morning. The only thing I used to worry about is somebody having to break open the door to get in. Living in Aarogya kudumbam I don’t even have to worry about it, as there is a spare key in the office with Dr. Raju.

I decided not to write a living will and informed Dr. Raju about it too.

Worried in advance

I went on a two-week long trip to Chennai and Mumbai to attend my nephew Pratham’s wedding in Chennai and the reception in Mumbai. Though I travel comfortably by overnight train to Chennai, Bangalore or Mannargudi I have always taken a flight to Mumbai.

Being away for two weeks in June with really hot weather both in Chennai and Mumbai and having to attend functions and visits to temples and relatives’ houses I needed to take enough clothes – in my case, sarees and matching blouses and petticoats and few nighties and a casual salwar-kameez.  In the last 3 – years, leading a retired life in Coimbatore, I have been wearing mainly cotton sarees, always starched and ironed. I couldn’t imagine myself wearing heavy Kancheepuram sarees with its matching silk blouses with lining in the middle of summer. That means I have to pack enough cotton sarees for the two weeks without having to repeat them more than twice. 

For a week-long trip to Mumbai, I used to take a small suitcase to be checked in and a carry bag as hand-luggage. But this time I knew that wouldn’t do. As is my practice, a few days before the day of departure, I took out a fairly big suitcase I had and started putting things in clothes that I could take with me. The suitcase filled up pretty quickly. Feeling I have over packed, the next day I took a few sarees out. After I packed all the accessories and other paraphernalia my luggage weighed 23 kgs. I knew the airline’s baggage allowance is only 15 kgs. But I was confident of getting away with it since I would not be carrying any hand baggage.

It was no issue in my first leg of the journey from Coimbatore to Chennai. In Chennai, when I went with my sister Kala to a saree shop I got tempted and bought four new sarees.  When I packed everything to leave for Mumbai my suitcase was well packed. But from Chennai to Mumbai I travelled with four other people who only had hand-luggage. Again it was no issue.

In Mumbai, my sister and a sister-in-law, gifted me a saree each and also my sister gave me a nice jewelry box as take away gift for her son’s wedding and a friend of mine gifted me a good size bottle of French perfume. I didn’t even think all these would fit into my suitcase. Luckily the suitcase is expandable.  The night before my departure from Mumbai, I packed everything and it all fitted in well. so firmly. I was sure it would weigh close to 30 kgs.

Usually whenever I go to Mumbai I would buy Mumbai chivda and halwa and other eatables to take home with me. This time I didn’t even go to that shop. Still my sister in law insisted that I take whatever goodies – kaju kathli, mixture, badam halwa, and special Shree Mithai cookies - that are in the house packed in a cloth bag as hand luggage. That I got tempted.

Of course I was worried that my luggage would exceed the baggage allowance limit. Even while waiting in line to check in I was thinking of various ways I could avoid paying for the extra weight. I could find another passenger with just a hand baggage and tag along, or I could use my senior citizen-status and ask for special privilege taking advantage of the staff’s compassion etc.

My suitcase was so heavy I found it difficult to lift it to put it on the conveyer belt while checking it in. The weighing scale showed 17 kgs. I thought that could be the weight of the previous passenger’s luggage and that the staff would reset the weighing scale. No, she did no such thing and she just affixed the identification baggage tag and pushed my suitcase on its way to be loaded on to the plane.

It was a great learning about my personality - How I worry about things that might happen and spend sleepless nights thinking of so many ways and means to avoid or overcome it. Sometimes it just doesn’t happen at all the way I imagine. 

I had an excellent two weeks of holiday spending time with my brothers, sister and all the extended family members.

Every pill causes an illness

Every pill causes and illness

My legs ache. It started right after I started ‘statin’, over 5 years ago, to control cholesterol. I took it on the advice of an experienced doctor, as a preventive measure because I was over 65, had high BP, borderline high cholesterol and a family history of heart problems.

I told my doctor about the ache in my legs. It is most unusual, as it hurts on the side of the leg; I could walk long distance without any difficulty and it hurts only at rest especially before going to bed. The doctor gave me tips to manage the pain but did not mention about the side effects of the drug I am taking. I trusted the doctor as he is from a very reputed hospital. I continued to take statin for nearly a year and soaked my feet in warm water or took a pain reliever every night.

The year I went to Australia and did the base walk of Ayres Rock with my son, I also read a book in the public library on The Great Cholesterol Myth. It was so shocking. It clearly said weakness and muscle wasting are the most common side effects of statin drugs and that the effect is not reversible. I stopped taking the drug. I felt I would rather have heart attack and die and not live with pain every day.

But the weakness and the pain in my leg persisted, some nights it was more severe. I did regular brisk walking to strengthen my leg muscle and at night rubbed eucalyptus oil when I couldn’t go to sleep because of the pain. Over time I felt it was getting from bad to worst. In addition to that I also had restless leg syndrome.

I  consulted doctors casually about it but did not take any steps to explore why I have the pain, as I could walk a distance of 5 – 10 km, or climb 700 – 800 steps without any difficulty. That is good considering my age. I did the Ayres Rock base walk, hiked 7 km up the Kottamalai hills and climbed another 300 steps to go to Venugopalaswamy temple in Padavedu, climbed 1200 steps to go to the Narasimha temple at Sholingar. Now in Coimbatore, when the weather is pleasant, at the drop of a hat, I go to the Anuvavi or Marudhamalai Murugan temples climbing 500 steps.

Couple of months ago when I registered to attend a 10-day Vipasana programme, I was worried as to how I would do the meditation sitting for 10 – 12 hours as  I could neither sit cross legged for long or sit on the chair with my legs down.

I thought, may be, I will go and have a check up in a major hospital to find out the cause – it could be due to varicose veins or a defective valve in the blood vessel. Of course, I was told, the first thing to do is to have a scan done. The thought of the procedure put me off.

Just then we had a visitor to the Home who talked about an acupuncture treatment he is going through to treat his diabetes and that small aches and pains can easily be treated by this therapy. I was impressed.

On an impulse, I went with him to see this specialist Uma Maheshwari. I told her when my pain started. Of course she knew it could only be due to some medicine I have had. The motto on the wall said ‘There is no pill for every ill but there is an ill for every pill’. She did not examine my leg, check the place where I have the pain or touch it to feel. She told me not to have coffee, tea and milk or white sugar, not to do brisk walking, but to walk leisurely for a short time. She held my right hand and touched the tips of my fingers very gently for a few seconds and also held my wrist as if to check my pulse for a few seconds and said I would be alright. She did not do any acupuncture or pressure, as I had expected. I was sceptical. But I followed her instructions.

I had stopped taking coffee or tea on a regular basis since I had the Ayurvedic de-tox treatment in December but hot milk is my comfort drink. Yet I fully stopped drinking milk and with that the little sugar I was having too. Not going for morning walk and for my morning milk at 6 a.m., allowed me more time to exercise. Within two days I felt my legs aren’t so restless and didn’t hurt much.  For good measure I went for another sitting with the Doc before leaving for Vipasana.

But sitting for long period wasn’t that easy. The first couple of days during meditation my legs hurt so much to sit continuously. Every 20 minutes or so, I would shift, change position and massage my legs. It was very painful. Every hour we were allowed get up to stretch our legs. I would walk for 5 minutes. By the 5^th or 6^th day the pain was not so severe. I was able to go through the entire programme.

I went to thank Uma for her service. She wanted me to continue with the treatment and said I should gradually stop taking any pill, first stop taking any vitamin supplement and then even BP medicine and thyroxin. Since I do eat nutritious food with plenty of fruits and vegetable, I could stop taking vitamins. This month I did not buy any. But I am not yet very sure I could stop the medicines. I plan to take them on alternate days and then try to reduce the dosage. I would do it very cautiously.   

Last night when I was chatting with my daughter-in-law she said she has restless leg syndrome. I said I have it too, but then I it dawned on me that I do not have it anymore.

Too busy to record what I am doing

It is nearly two months since I wrote in my blogspot. It is not because I had nothing to say. On the contrary I was so busy doing so many things that I couldn’t focus long enough on one topic to write about. I haven’t learnt or it is not my style to say things so crisply in few selected words like my son Rajan. The thought of having to write elaborately in detail on what I am doing and what is happening with my life is enough to make me want to take a nap.

Living in a Home is neither like living with the family nor like living with neighbours. Living here is kind of like living in-between or both. It is a close-knit, gated community. Being in a Home with hardly 15 – 20 people at any given time, meeting them at least three times a day, one tends to get involved in everybody’s life, without being too intrusive. We happily interact with guests of any of the members. We get to know who is going where and what their current interests are. Watching other people and their life-style in such close quarters is an interesting hobby we all engage in. This has enabled me to feel so aware of myself.

In the last two months I read 3 books.  Hemingway’s “The old man and the sea” downloaded from the internet in pdf format, which I have read, may be, over 35 years ago. Erma Bombeck’s “A marriage made in heaven” which my daughter-in-law Barbara gave me from her private collection may be over ten years ago, which I have already read three times, and “The Cousins” which my friend Pradeep sent me by mail for my review. 

I enjoyed each one in its own special way. This time around, I understood the ‘old man’ Santiago’s struggle in a different way.  I do not get tired of reading Erma. Having enjoyed reading it again, this time I also read some of her newspaper columns from the internet. I enjoyed the story telling style of ‘The cousins’ but not the story as such.

Last week, quite by accident, I came across a shop that sells new and used books, next door to the supermarket, where I do my usual shopping. I bought two books - The alchemist and  To kill a mocking bird - , again the ones I have already read, to read again. 

I also did a 16 page, Devi Stotram booklet for a swamini, who has an ashram from across our Home. After being out of practise for over 10 months had to get familiar with typing Tamil and using Pagemaker. Enjoyed the challenge of doing it and learning new words.

Last month I visited an old cave temple with 4 other people. And on Krishna jayanthi, on an impulse, I went to a Perumal koil in a small village, had special darshan, a full-meal prasadam and I made a friend too.

Two months after I have sent in my application, I got my ‘proof of residence’ ID card from the post office. Believe it or not, this is the first time ever I have gone through such a process for getting a document, all by myself. That by itself I consider an achievement.

To comment in my Blog

For people who have trouble commenting in my blog, my son Rajan has sent the instructions

To publish a comment on your blog, your readers need to have an account with one of the services recognised by blogspot.

The one I have is with Google. It is easy to create a Google account and Google doesn't ask for personal information. Go to the following website and follow the instructions.

https://accounts.google.com/NewAccount

Then when they wish to make a comment, they type it in to the space provided, select Google as their "profile" and then select "publish". They will then be directed to enter their Google account log-in details.

Easy.

Also, when your readers log into google, they will be asked to type in two words that will appear on the screen to "prove you're not a robot".

Try it, you'll see what I mean. I'm glad I can still pass this test!

To be able to appreciate

To be able to appreciate

We, the residents of the Retirement Home where I live, are happy with cooks we have for the past couple of months. They replaced the father-in-law + son-in-law pair who were managing the canteen for the previous one year. Though the earlier cooks were OK, the meals they provided were pretty ordinary; never a surprise item in the menu; never one to take any suggestion from the customers. They just did their job.

We are happy with the young couple – Jerry and Daisy - who have come to replace them. They are cheerful, friendly and energetic. They smile a lot. They have the right attitude for the service especially considering the residents are entirely dependent on the meals provided by them. Though they are also from Kerala their cooking style is slightly different and a shade better. They are innovative; they make newer items to provide variety.  They would add an extra item of a pickle or chips that is not mentioned in the menu. They are caring. If a person is unwell, they would offer to do a special porridge and deliver it in the room.

With people coming from such diverse background we all have our own set tastes and norms for how a dish should be made. Every day we would have some comments to make about the food. I would give suggestions for improvement – to use less coconut, less oil, or not to make it too spicy etc. The cooks would take some of them in the right spirit and some as harsh criticism. But we are able to communicate with each other most of the time.

Last week they had to take couple of days off to visit their children living in Kerala with their grandmother. For those days, as a stop-gap arrangement, the contractor sent two ladies to manage the kitchen. Being isolated from the rest of the society we usually look forward to any new change. And of course we had our fingers crossed.

But right from the first morning coffee we found that their standard didn’t match ours. They were not at all suitable to cook in an establishment like this. The quality of food was very poor. Rice was not cooked well, coffee was not strong, curds were sour, sambar did not have enough dal or vegetables. The portions served were limited. They made it very clear that they are not happy to be working here, don’t like any comments and that anything said would be taken as criticism. They did not have the right attitude for a service industry. With that kind of atmosphere, it was very difficult, especially for me, to go through each meal time. Though before going to have my meal, I would make up my mind not to make any comments, it was impossible for me to restrain myself. One meal I even walked out without finishing the food in my plate. I refused to have the watery sambar and went without it. By the second day everybody was pretty uncomfortable. People complained of stomach ache and upset stomach.

But by the third day most unexpectedly Jerry and Daisy came back. I can’t describe the happiness I felt seeing them at lunch time. I expressed my happiness openly. The dining room reverberated with joy with everybody welcoming them back. They provided us a good lunch. There was absolutely nothing to comment about. For afternoon tea they served snacks they had brought from Kerala – banana & jack fruit chips, and Kerala dark halva.  Even the next day they served chunks of papaya with the meal. 

It was a great lesson learnt. We all had to go through the worst experience before we could whole-heartedly appreciate what we have.